Chase Hardy's Last Ride to Freedom - Mexico City Bachelor Party

Meet the Degenerates

The finest collection of idiots ever assembled for a bachelor party. Each one bringing their own special brand of chaos to Chase's last weekend of freedom.

👑 BEST MAN

Sawyer Richburg

The Cinematographer King

Texas Hill Country royalty who dated every girl in his elite private school class (all 12 of them). Fled to NYC, lit cigarettes for Sarah Jessica Parker at HBO, realized the city has no love, and came home to build his film empire "Mr. Productions." Now settled with The Huntress and baby Hudson. Still the prettiest boy at the party.

🎬 Fun Fact: Lived with a guy named "Deuce Flame" for 6 months

👑 BEST MAN

Mike Dominick

The Bilingual Heartbreaker

100% Mexican, 100% American, 200% ladies' man. Grew up between Monterrey and San Antonio, perfecting his game in both languages. Has broken hearts on both sides of the border and now breaks up families professionally as a lawyer at Higdon, Hardy & Zuflact. His Spanish pickup lines are legendary.

🇲🇽 Super Power: Can sweet-talk his way out of anything in two languages

Andrew Fields

The Party Homeschooler

Homeschooled not for sports or to avoid indoctrination, but purely to have more time to party. Genius move. Now closes massive commercial real estate deals while raising baby Cole with his beautiful African bride. Has partied his way through South Africa and Brazil Carnival – this man knows how to celebrate.

🎉 Life Motto: More time to party = better education

Jamey McDowell

The Mathematical Genius

Mississippi-raised boy who's somehow the smartest bastard in our group (we hate admitting it). Conquered Disney, iHeartRadio, and Meta with his data science wizardry before Coinbase made him an offer he couldn't refuse. Now bringing crypto to the masses while making us all feel stupid.

🧠 Warning: Don't try to outsmart him – you'll lose

AJ "Alec" Jordan

The Early Locker-Downer

Dallas boy who snagged an incredible woman at 16.5 and spent the next decade making sure she couldn't escape. Smart move. Went from Goldman Sachs to KPMG to UBS, where he now manages money for Dallas elites who think San Antonio is in Mexico. His wife is half-Mexican, so he and Chase collectively married one full Mexican.

💰 Client Base: People who don't know geography but have lots of money

Samuel "Brother" Kaestner

The Reproductive Champion

Former fraternity president with a Yoda tattoo on his ass (ask to see it). Father of three (Ella, Oliver, Young Jude) living in a mansion in McKinney with Norwegian beauty Elisabeth. Just brought Starlink to Norway and is basically their new king. Made bank in crypto – how much? That's the beauty of crypto, nobody knows.

👑 Status: Unofficial King of Norway via satellite internet

Avery Rinn

The Young Protégé

Chase's soon-to-be brother-in-law who needs to learn how cool we are. Despite being the baby of the group, he's closing massive commercial real estate deals with restaurants and event venues. Extremely likable, great girlfriend, and owns a sick dog named Tommy. We'll show him the ropes.

🐕 Best Friend: Tommy the Dog (second coolest member of his family)

Phil Coelho

The OG Party Supplier

Chase's Antonian classmate who was first to drive and first to "hook it up" in every way imaginable. Now practices law handling land deals while maintaining his legendary party reputation. Mexico City was basically built for this man. He just doesn't know it yet.

🚗 Legacy: First to drive = first to enable bad decisions

Kendall Harris

The OG Best Friend

Chase's oldest friend since junior kindergarten at St. George Episcopal. Survived working for Martin Phipps together – the craziest attorney alive who married his 24-year-old assistant at 52, then divorced her 10 days later. If Kendall and Chase survived that psychopath together, they can survive anything. This boy knows how to party.

🏫 Bond: Same school, same upbringing, same area of practice

Why Mexico City is Perfect for Chase's Send-Off

Listen up, degenerates! Mexico City isn't your typical bachelor party destination – and that's exactly why we're going. This ain't some touristy beach resort bullsh*t. CDMX is where 9 million people party like there's no mañana, where the mezcal flows cheaper than water, and where you can stumble from world-class street tacos at 3am to underground speakeasies that make Vegas look like Chuck E. Cheese.

Picture this: A city where young professionals rage harder than spring breakers, where every neighborhood has more bars than you have brain cells left after this weekend, and where the party literally never stops. We're talking rooftop clubs, wrestling matches with tequila vendors, floating fiestas on ancient Aztec canals, and enough late-night taco stands to soak up even Chase's legendary drinking sessions. Plus, your dollar goes further than Chase's standards after midnight.

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Beers for $2, shots for $3, and regrets... priceless

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Bars open till 3am weekdays, 5am weekends (if they close at all)

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25°C (77°F) year-round – perfect for bad decisions

🛡️ Need to Convince Someone This Trip is Safe?

Click here for official safety data & statistics

The Itinerary of Destruction

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Thursday - The Gathering

Land in CDMX, check into our bachelor pad in Condesa. First round's on whoever arrives last. Hit up a craft cocktail bar, then street food crawl through Roma Norte. End at some dive bar Chase definitely shouldn't know about.

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Friday - Boats & Body Slams

Xochimilco party boats at noon – unlimited beer, mariachis, and questionable decisions on ancient canals. Back for power naps and pre-game. 8pm: LUCHA LIBRE at Arena México. Masks, mezcal, and watching grown men in spandex – Chase's perfect Friday.

Xochimilco Boat Party

Lucha Libre Madness

🌅

Saturday - Pyramids to Party Time

5am departure (yes, really) to Teotihuacán. Climb pyramids while the sun rises and tourists sleep. Cave restaurant lunch, back for siestas. 8pm: Upscale dinner at a world-class restaurant (we're classy now). 11pm-6am: Club hopping in Polanco. Someone's definitely losing a shoe.

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Sunday - The Reckoning

Drag ourselves to brunch at a local spot. Hair of the dog mandatory. Chapultepec Park for "fresh air" (and more micheladas). Airport runs start at 3pm. Survivors get a medal. Chase gets married.

Where We're Crashing Like Kings

Chase's Mini-Mansion Hook-Up

Hold onto your wallets, boys – because Chase isn't! Our boy is going ALL OUT and renting us a f*cking mansion in one of CDMX's most elite neighborhoods. We're talking about a legit palace in either Condesa (the hipster paradise), Roma Norte (the artistic heart), or Polanco (Beverly Hills of Mexico City).

This isn't some cramped Airbnb bullsh*t. We're talking multiple bedrooms, a chef's kitchen for our hangover breakfasts, rooftop terraces for pre-gaming with city views, and enough space that when someone inevitably brings back a "friend," the rest of us won't hear it. Chase is covering the whole damn thing – probably his fiancée's idea to keep us happy and out of trouble. Jokes on her! 😈

Condesa

Hipster central with tree-lined streets, rooftop bars, and enough mezcal lounges to kill us all

🌳 Artsy & Trendy

Roma Norte

The artistic heart of CDMX with galleries, craft cocktail bars, and Instagram-worthy street art everywhere

🎨 Creative & Cool

Polanco

The Beverly Hills of CDMX – luxury everything, Michelin-starred restaurants, and rich people problems

💎 Bougie & Fabulous

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Chase's Treat!

That's right, Chase is footing the bill for our royal accommodations. The least we can do is make sure he has the time of his life before he's legally required to ask permission to go out.

What Our Palace Offers:

🏠 Enough beds for everyone (couches for lightweights)
🍺 Walking distance to 50+ bars (we counted)
🌮 24-hour taco joints within stumbling distance
🚐 Private van for when walking becomes "challenging"
🏥 Pharmacy next door (ibuprofen dealer)
📍 Perfect location where bad decisions happen

Alright Dipsh*ts, Here's What We Need to Do

Pick the Damn Date

We're targeting late August – perfect weather, perfect vibes, and Chase will need one last hurrah before the wedding planning gets serious. Plus, it's still summer so we can blame our bad decisions on the heat.

📅 Vote on dates in the group chat

Chase Locks in the Palace

Once we nail down the dates, Chase will secure our mansion. Condesa, Roma Norte, or Polanco – wherever he books, we're living like kings for the weekend. No pressure, Chase, but don't f*ck this up! 😂

🏠 Chase handles the royal suite

Book Your Flights NOW

Stop being cheap and book those direct flights from Dallas or San Antonio. Prices only go up, and nobody wants to deal with connections when we're hungover. Get that Global Entry while you're at it, you procrastinating bastards.

✈️ Get your ass to Mexico

LET'S F*CKING PARTY!

Pack your liver protectors, download Duolingo (you'll need "Dos cervezas más, por favor"), and prepare for the weekend that will either bond us for life or provide blackmail material for decades. Either way, it's going to be LEGENDARY.

🎉 Survive the weekend